i have a confession to make
i did not vote. before you stone me, let me explain:
I closely followed the election coverage for the past year. i went back and forth between Hillary, Obama, first women president, first african-american president, and weighed the options against my own deeply ingrained conservative attitudes (thanks a lot dad). I realized awhile ago that i am not a “republican” (um, sorry fam). i am not a “democrat”. i believe what i believe, and what i believe in is a mixture of conservative, restrained governmental power and liberal, progressive social attitudes.
I think gays should be able to marry, i think women should have choices about their own bodies, i think the environment is beautiful and precious and that we are killing it. I think the war sucks, but was probably unavoidable. I think buying middle eastern oil helps people who hate us, i think government controlled healthcare will turn the doctor’s office into the DMV, i think welfare hampers individual success instead of encouraging it. i think the government should stay out of private industries, and i think the united states has enough problems of it’s own to focus on.
I realize its “hip” to be liberal. I realize, among my peers, being conservative is synonymous with being ignorant and old-fashioned. But being “nothing” is just as bad. I could have easily jumped on the Obama band-wagon, bought some shirts, joined a facebook group and slapped a bumper sticker on my car. I regret, in a way, not doing so. But honestly-i was not sure. I would love to have memories of late nights volunteering with friends and stirring speeches at rallies, stories about it all for my children, but i would not have been genuine. Still, I feel like i missed out on something.
I decided not to decide. This is because i had faith in the country that the best man would win. I did not know the answer alone, but together, as a country, i knew we would find it. So, I watched the votes come in Tues. night in my Blacksburg apartment with good friends, feeling like it was new years eve. Something was stirring in the air. I wished i was in Chicago, or DC, or Times Square. I yearned to be a part of it all. But i know I was. I existed, i watched it, i felt it. Im sad to say that it took Obama’s victory speech to fully win me over. But, he did. He admitted that he did not earn everyone’s vote (about 48% of the country) but that he would like to be their president too. As dorky as it is, tears were rolling down my face at that point.
I have never understood racism. My mom will tell you how the 2nd grade version of me came home in tears after learning about the Civil Rights Movement in school and the assassination of Martin Luther King. My dad will tell you about me crying that night as he tucked me in asking, “Why did they have to kill him?” He told me he didn’t know. He told me lots of people felt the way i did, and lots of people cried. He told me lots of people didn’t know how to cry, and were angry and confused. He told me he was there and remembered the burning and the riots and the chaos after he died.
I will have a different story for my children. I will be able to tell them about tears of relief, and joy and awe on the faces of blacks and whites, who stood next to one another in chicago, and dc, and new york, and everywhere else all over america. I can tell them about jumping and chanting and hugging instead of riots and violence and burning. I can tell them how the police were taking pictures of the celebrating crowds with their cell phones instead of donning riot gear or spraying fire hoses. I can say i watched history, and can tell them how proud i was of our country at that moment and in the days following, and how proud the world was of the United States.
I am proud to stand behind President Elect Obama. I always want our president to succeed. In talking with my conservative family, i was surprised to find they shared my feelings. Oma (my McCain supporting grandma) said she hopes Obama is “the greatest president we’ve ever had.” Dad said Obama hasn’t given him any reason not to support him…(although he guarded his statement, ending it with “yet”). I am so ready for this new administration the shift it represents. How cool that race is not the issue! How freaking cool. This county has made me so proud.
